Gratitude is ALWAYS in style....

The birds are chirping. My children are laughing. The sun is out. What would have been the most stressful week of the year has been completely flopped on it's back and instead of running around like a chicken with its head cut off at all the rehearsals I'd be at this week, I am in bed eating a banana and checking my email (the chicken with it's head cut off is still there, just not visible). What more could a girl ask for?
In the last few days I have perused a LOT of photography when I'm not busily typing lyrics, scanning music and sending it to my coworker, scribbling out lesson plans, and answering tons of questions through email at work. I came across this blog this morning, as they are offering $75 any of their templates to one lucky winner this week through iheartfaces. Boy, that was really the wrong blog to scroll around!! All things baby. The images I looked through melted my heart into a large puddle of goop. I remembered the weeks after Chloe and Linus were first born and all I wanted to do was sit and watch their every move, even when they were sleeping, I couldn't keep my eyes off of them. Newborns are precious, precious gifts from God. At the same time of reflecting on this, I also felt and ache inside. I'd never really understood, even after we had the miscarraige last fall, the times when I would talk to close friends and family who have lost babies or who haven't had a chance to have a baby yet, and how they would ashamedly admit to being envious and hurt over other moms who brought their newborns to church or who gloated openly about thier pregnancy excitement. But at the thought of possibly losing this child, if the worst were to happen, I felt some of that pain to a small degree, it put things into perspective for me. The pull to have children that we as women feel, the natural desire we have towards raising children is also a heavenly gift, and when that gift, for whatever purpose in God's plan is denied us, it is an ache. A real one. I thought about all the other friends/family we have right now that are pregnant (and there are a LOT right now!! It always seems to come in seasons...) and I thought about seeing them and their babies if we were to lose ours, and I did hurt, I was envious already, I am ashamed to admit.
And then I thought some more on these:
Which of course, in turn, caused me to think about this handsome fellow:

and all we've been through in our five short years together!
And I honestly faced the fact that, every day, bad things happen, and even if we did lose the baby, do I trust that it is God's will? Do I accept that bad things happen, to everyone, and that God is really in control of everything? Do I really know that all things are possible when done with the Lord, even overcoming the grief of the bad things that happen in this life?
Yes. I do. Joy in the journey, not just after the journey is over.
That brings me peace, and gratitude, and replaces pain with joy, even pain I haven't experienced yet :-). This life is an incredible journey! I don't mean that in a cliche way, not like "go get a spa, chocolate, and a chic flic today because, heck, you're grateful for life and you deserve it!", I mean it in the "I am at truly at peace, a gift, even when everything around me is not." I know I chose to come here and experience even the bad things, because I know I would eventually realize that I would never experience the truly good things if I didn't go through the bad ones.
By the way, "To Draw Closer to God" by Henry B. Eyring is a fantastic read- he is truly one of the best teachers I've ever learned from.
On a lighter note, I hope to soon have up a video of little Linus doing the hokey pokey. When we get to the "put your backside in, put your backside out" part, he does the funniest little dance. I'm having problems just selecting certain videos to download off our camera and not all of them, so I may have to just buckle down and clear off our camera on the computer downstairs (which will literally be an all day job...but I guess I have the time!) to get it up.
Till next time...