Two Year Old for Sale!

Any takers? I'll throw in a case of diapers to boot.

So here's a funny story. Well, it's funny now, wasn't so funny at the time. The lock on the kid's door faces out. The reason for this was because when Chloe was about 18 months old, she locked herself in the room and couldn't figure out how to unlock it. A couple of hours later we had taken some of the wood off the door frame so we could slide a card in there and unlock it. Chloe had cried herself to sleep by then and I felt like the world's most irresponsible mother. Did it cross my mind that someday I might get locked in the room and not be able to get out? Yes, but it obviously didn't bother me enough to do anything about it. This morning I woke up with the distinct impression that Linus would lock us all in the room that morning. I didn't think much of it, especially when a minute later, Chloe started screaming bloody murder. I got out of bed and went into their room to find that Linus had climbed up on the top bunk, scraped a bunch of texture off of our "popcorn" celing, and taken Chloe's picture of Jesus healing a young girl that Chloe had me cut out and tape next to her bed because she liked it so much and he had ripped it to shreds all over the floor. I did consciously keep Linus away from the door as I cleaned up the mess just because I was thinking about him locking the door, I don't know why. I went downstairs and opened up the blinds and saw my phone on the counter. I had the thought that I should put it in my pocket, but didn't because I didn't think I would need it. I went upstairs and came in their room again and let Linus off of his bed and made him apologize to Chloe. I started getting Chloe dressed and was just finishing putting her pants on when I hear Linus behind me say "Mommy! I wock-a-door!" and then a deafening *SLAM* of the door shut. My heart sank into my stomach and I lunged for the door (too late, obviously) to find it locked, my phone downstairs on the kitchen counter, Odell sleeping in the next room, and me stuck with my two toddlers with no escaping. In my premonitioning earlier, I thought, should I be locked in the room, my best bet would be to open the window and pray that someone next door would hear if I kept yelling long enough. So that's exactly what we did: I sat down on the floor with my kids and we all said a prayer that someone would be able to hear us or come over and find us so that we wouldn't be stuck in the room all morning, and then I put my face to the screen and starting yelping across my backyard. I kept yelling my mother-in-law's name, and eventually Chloe and Linus were up on the bunk bed helping me out, yelling "GRANDMA!!! GRANDMA!!!" After a few fruitless minutes of that, it occurred to me that the kids probably hadn't left for school yet next door. If I was lucky, and kept watch, I might be able to catch Seth as he was biking off to school. That meant that our fate would rest in the hands of a seven year old boy, biking briefly by on the street 500 yards away, and hope that by a miracle he would be able to hear my frantic yelling from the second story window of our house. I didn't keep my eyes off the street as I waited patiently for him to bike by. Suddenly he popped out of nowhere and was going pretty fast, so I started yelling and yelling as he passed by and kept even after he disappeared out of view. Well, God heard our prayer because a fraction of a second later, I saw him bike back around the other direction because he heard me. I got him to stop and just said "SETH!!! IT'S CHELSEA, LINUS LOCKED US IN THEIR ROOM, WILL YOU GO GET MOM FOR ME?!?!", to which he loudly and clearly replied, "OKAY!!" and went back to the house. Mom didn't get the message in its' entirety, Seth told her that Linus was locked in the room and that I needed help, but at least she came over and found us. I could have cried I was so happy to see her and I explained what happened. I wasn't supposed to bring the kids over to her until around 1 in the afternoon, and even if Mom called, she may not have even come over because I wouldn't have answered the phone and I would have had to wait until after 3 when Craig got home from school before I would have been found. All the implications, not having snacks, not having a potty, not being able to get to Odell once she woke up, it would have been a hellish day to say the least.
So now we have a new doorknob on the door that you can unlock from the other side. We are never going through that again!!
And seriously...any takers? My next step will be to sell Linus to the zoo...