So this last weekend I took the kids with me to Utah. By myself. Crazy? Yes. Worth it? Definitely. I have other pictures to post, but I'll have to get to them later otherwise this post will be super duper long.
Below is the story of another motherhood lesson learned. Enjoy.
So the day after we got to Park City, I really wanted to take the kids to see Temple Square in Salt Lake City. I thought it would be this perfect, spiritually uplifting event: the kids could touch the temple, we could tour the conference center, we could visit the Christus (a white, beautifully serene replica of the Ressurected Saviour, it's just glorious, I always love visiting it). Well I didn't much take into account the fact that the kids did not sleep at all the trip up there and then didn't fall asleep until sometime after midnight after we did get there, then woke up with Linus's internal alarm at 6:30. When we got to Temple Square, as pictured below, they were nice walking up to the temple to touch it. Then we went to tour the Conference Center. Chloe thought it was amazing. Odell didn't much care either way. Linus thought it was a ginormous concrete jungle gym. In fact, he thought that's what most of Temple Square was after that. These poor older sister missionaries gave us the tour and were so kind as to push the stroller for me while I ran after Linus and pulled him out of fountains and rope barriers in front of paintings and flower beds on the roof...the last half of the tour he spent riding on my shoulders. My scalp was sore afterwards from all the hair pulling and thrashing he did. We got back over to the temple grounds after that and I got them calmed down with a snack and juice box while we watched the fifty million brides and their families and their photographers going through. Then we prepared to visit the Christus. They were so quiet and still going up the ramp to the room where it's located, I thought for a moment we may actually have a beneficial spiritual encounter here. They quickly identified Christ, and as I was thinking about preparing my speech for mother of the year award, suddenly they both thought that climbing on the statue would be a good idea. I tried to take a picture of them next to it, but quickly realized that was not going to happen as more people started coming up and Linus began darting around the room finding other things to destroy. He successfully located a spot up about 6 or 7 stairs away from me where I couldn't take the stroller where he threatened to run away from me. Needless to say I ended that excursion dragging both of my screaming children back down the ramp where we all had to immediately find a potty because suddenly no one could hold it anymore. While in the bathroom I was ready to shed a few tears of my own. I got them out of there alive and made it back to the car in the parking garage in one piece. As I was driving out every exit I came to required $10 in cash to leave. My heart sunk as I realized that I didn't have any cash on me. I was planning on using my credit card to leave, but that was not going to work here. My heart raced as thoughts of getting out of the car and begging strangers for $10 to leave the garage crossed my frantic mind. Thinking back on it, I should have just parked the car, got the kids back out and found an ATM downtown somewhere to get some cash, but at the time that just didn't occur to me as an option, I was tired from lack of sleep and desperate to get the kids and myself back up the canyon for lunch and a nap. I timidly approached the main exit where there was a guard manning the exit. I stared at the money machine next to me, then prayed that somehow I would open my purse again and $10 in cash would magically appear there. No such luck. Eventually the guard came over and I explained to him my desperate situation as politely as I could. He paused, then asked, "Where did you go?" I told him I was just on Temple Square with the kids, we didn't go anywhere else. The kids started fighting at that point, and I was trying to shush them while figure out what it was I needed to do to get out of there. Would I have to work my wages out? Could I convince the man to let me take his post for a couple of hours so I could pay my way out of the garage? He sat there looking irritated, then hesitantly pulled out his badge, swiped it over a reader on the machine, and snapped, "I could get fired for this," and the barrier lifted and I could pass. I blubbered out my thanks and apology, but his concern was now focused on the line of cars that had piled up behind me and didn't so much as say "You're welcome," as I left the garage. Well, the straw broke and I am ashamed to say I cried almost the whole drive back to Park City. The kids sat in silence the whole way back, occasionally muttering "It's okay, Mom, you can go to the bank and get some more money!" and "We're so sorry we didn't listen to you, Mom, we love you, don't cry!"
We got back to Park City and I pulled into McDonalds where I sniffled my last sniffle, put on a pair of large sunglasses, and bought the kids happy meals for lunch to apologize for a Mommy meltdown. After a sugary soda and a fattening burger, I felt much better.
SO, not to leave you on a down and out note, because I did learn a spiritual lesson from this. When we had family home evening at Brent and Karen's house the following Monday night, we talked about Amber getting married in the temple and both the kids talked some about going to the temple the previous Friday and touching the walls and connected to that readily. As I was cleaning out the car after we got back, I pulled out the stroller and these little brown, smooth nuts fell out of the bottom of the stroller. I had forgotten, while we were walking around on temple square, the kids found some horse chestnuts. It was strange, I often think about this tree: when I was kid, in the apartment complex we used to live in growing up, they had these giant horse chestnut trees and I LOVED to collect the horse chestnuts. Something about finding these pokey, prickly green outsides, but then opening them up to find a perfectly formed smooth nut on the inside, a little present just for me, was thrilling. I even had a children's book about them, they were special to me. The kids had never seen them before and wanted to take some home with us. I showed them the prickly coverings that they came from up in the tree, and let them each pick out one to put in the stroller. Another one of those lightning bolt- message from God moments came upon me. Right now, my kids sometimes seem like these prickly pokey horse chestnuts. They don't seem to have any smooth edges sometimes, it is a struggle to feel like I've accomplished anything at times with them, or like they'll be anything but a green, pokey, prickly ball. But they just need to ripen. And one day I will open them up and find a perfect, smooth, brown nut as formed on the inside and I'll be proud of what they have become. A mother's work is never done. But it takes time to see the fruits sometimes. Even when we want immediate results, they just need that time, like any fruit or plant, you can't make them bloom before they are ready.
On that note, does anyone know why they planted this particular tree on the temple grounds in Salt Lake? Just wondering.
And hang tight for the rest of the Utah adventures, they will be soon up-a-comin'.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
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2 comments:
Oh, you made my heart swell with all feelings of motherhood! The lows are so low and the highs are so high.
You are so brave.
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